How I Overcame Online Harassment as a Gay Creator: A 3-Step Guide to Reclaiming Your Power

Today, I want to talk about something many of us face, especially as queer creators and artists: online harassment. When someone attacks you, your first instinct is to fight back. You want to match their anger, their vitriol, and their lies.

But what if I told you that the most powerful response is to simply… refuse to play their game?

When a bully tries to tear you down with a baseless, homophobic claim, it can be incredibly painful. Your initial gut reaction, like anyone’s, is to get angry. To go online and defend yourself furiously. But in those moments, you’re just giving them exactly what they want. You’re giving them your precious emotional energy, and you're letting them drag you down to their level.

So, how do we get that motivation back? How do we find our focus again?

I want to share three key steps you can take to reclaim your power:

Step 1: Go Quiet.

The most powerful thing you can do is to stop engaging. Don't reply, don't argue, don't defend yourself. Take a step back and let their words fall on deaf ears. Your silence is a weapon, and it will cause them to panic more than any angry rant ever could.

Step 2: Document Everything.

While you're quiet, use that time to calmly and meticulously document every single message. Collect every screenshot, log every date and time. This is not about fighting them in the moment; it's about building a record. You're building an armour of evidence that can be used for your protection if you ever need it.

Step 3: Let Your Work Do the Talking.

Instead of pouring your energy into a fight, pour it into your craft. Turn your focus back to what you were creating before the attack. Share the raw, messy, and deeply human process behind your art. When you show your dedication and passion, you completely dismantle their flimsy, baseless claims.

When someone attacks you, they aren't attacking who you are; they're attacking what they fear. They fear your talent, your truth, and your ability to be unapologetically yourself. So, instead of wasting your time with them, pour that energy into your art, into your community, and into building a life that is so full of love and integrity that their hatred has no room to breathe.

Your voice, your story, and your art are powerful. Never let anyone convince you otherwise.